


Damn, Dameron! (Back At It Again With The Orange Vans)

by casstayinmyass



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Based On Damn Daniel, Closeted Ben, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Eventual Poe Dameron/Finn, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Funny, Gay Poe Dameron, House Party, Internet, M/M, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Referenced Hand Jobs, Referenced Masturbation, Rey Swears A Lot, Social Media, Unkar Plutt Is Still An Asshole, Vines, based on a vine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:03:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a crazy night at a house party, Finn, Poe, and Rey create a vine that explodes overnight. Soon, Poe's orange vans get him more recognition than he had ever imagined; and it doesn't hurt that he and Finn are starting to develop a thing for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damn, Dameron! (Back At It Again With The Orange Vans)

Finn wasn't the most popular guy at Yavin High. He had just transferred from a military academy, and it seemed like he was a square peg in a round hole... at least, until he met Rey, the loner who sits in the corner of the classroom. She too, had transferred, from Jakku High, which was way on the other side of the country. Her dad had had to move for his teaching job, and unfortunately, that meant teaching at their school. Mr. Skywalker was a good guy, though, zany, very animated, and had an epic beard- he was everyone's favorite period of the day.

"Morning, peanut," Finn smiled at Rey as she walked into Ms. Kanata's history class. Rey sat down and slung her legs up, overtaking Ben's seat in front of her.

"G'morning," Rey replied with a grin, "You know why I'm happy right now?"

"Caaause, you're always happy?"

"Not true."

"Right, sorry- why?"

"Because dad's out of town on some meditation sabbatical to an Irish island... which means a), substitute for period D, and b), house party at mine tonight!"

"Rey," Finn muttered, "You know I hate parties. Nobody likes me, except you!"

"Oh, is that so?" she asked, smirking as she slightly inclined her head toward the brunette sitting on the right side of the classroom.

"Poe?!" Finn hissed, "N-No way, he's way outta my league. Plus, he's got that girlfriend..."

"She's not his girlfriend," Rey corrected, rolling her eyes, "She told me in gym. That boy is gay as they come."

Finn seemed a little hopeful for a second, then watched Poe's dashing smile break out over his beautiful, olive-hued face.

"I'd never work up the nerve."

"Maybe a good keg party will fix that," she winked, and Finn blushed deeply.

"A little alcohol's not gonna make this any easier! I don't want to wake up the next morning, not knowing how me and Poe got in a bed together, and why he's naked, and-"

"What's this about me being naked in a bed with you?" Poe asked, looking over. Finn's eyes widened.

"Oh, um- I was... explaining... um... a math problem... that involved your name... actually, a history problem, cause this is history class... but it wasn't a problem, cause there are no problems in history... well, actually, there were a lot of problems in history... oh god, I'll stop."

Poe chuckled, and turned back around. Finn sighed, closing his eyes and remembering what Poe's gorgeous face looked like. (Nobody needed to know he was committing that body to memory as well, for... er... important reasons.)

"All I'm saying is, it could be really fun," Rey shrugged, "Nobody's gonna come anyway, nobody knows who I am."

Finn huffed. He supposed he could go... maybe it would be fun.

Just then, the bell rang, and Ben sauntered into the classroom. Ms. Kanata looked up, narrowing her beady eyes behind her gigantic goggle-like glasses.

"You're late, Mr. Solo."

"I was one _second_ late!" Ben bit back angrily, "Get off my ass!"

Ms. Kanata raised an eyebrow. "Principal."

"But- she's gonna ground me!"

" _Principal,_ Mr. Solo."

Ben kicked a chair over, and walked back out the door. Rey and Finn laughed amongst themselves, until Ms. Kanata came over strangely close, and glared between them.

-0-0-0-

That night, Rey had the music blasting and the snacks and drinks out when Finn got there. The place was packed to the hilt;  it seemed that everyone _did_ know who Rey was, and also knew her dad didn't give one fuck or another if they obliterated the liquor cabinet.

Luke remembered what it was like to be a teenager, okay?

Finn scoped out the place, looking around for his friend. She was probably watching Netflix or something in the-

Or... you know... using a hose connected to a funnel to get baked on something that looked suspiciously illegal.

"Um... hey," Finn said, shuffling over to her.

"FINNIE!" she screamed, and Finn grimaced. "SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT, PEANUT! I-"

"It's okay, you don't have to yell, I'm right here."

"Right, sorry. Your boy Poe Dameron is here, and DAMN-eron, does he look fine tonight!"

"Rey?"

"Yes?"

"Lay off the weed, okay?"

"Yeah," she winced, "Yeah, good idea."

Finn practically carried her sick-looking friend over to one of the now-beer-soiled couches. Her house was giant, and it was weird for Finn to see others in it, as he was the only one who ever visited. He looked around, _totally not looking for Poe, heh,_ and suddenly spotted him-

-on the other couch, making out with Ben. The troublemaker was dressed in a black band shirt and tight jeans, and Poe wore an orange hoodie with a black V-neck underneath, his own jeans riding low on his exposed hips. Ben had his hand in Poe's waistband, groping him through his pants as they kissed, and Poe looked as if he were about to come with the expressions he was making.

"Oh, shit," Rey cried, and Finn abruptly remembered she was there too, "I had no idea they...! Holy fucking fuck!"

Finn nodded nonsensically. "Yeah..."

Suddenly, the girl cupped her hands around her mouth, and shouted (Still, way too loudly), "HEY! NO HAND JOBS ON THE COUCH! THAT'S MY FATHER'S FAVORITE ONE, AND I DON'T WANT SEMEN ALL OVER IT!"

Poe's eyes immediately jerked open, and he pried himself off of Ben, scooting away. While his blush started growing, Ben just smirked, draping his hand over the couch. Poe whispered something to him, and Ben shrugged, watching the other guy get up.

Finn took a breath, feelings of disappointment and jealousy washing over him. He obviously didn't have a chance in the first place... but why should someone like Ben get to have Poe? Finn got up, dragging himself over to the kitchen. Maybe he should get plastered... and toss out all those condoms he _totally didn't bring_ in his back pocket...

He winced as he went into the kitchen and found Poe filling up his cup. He thought of turning around, but it was a little late now... it would seem rude.

"Hey," he said awkwardly, and Poe grinned when he saw who it was.

"Finn! That's your name, right?"

"Yeah, that's me," Finn mumbled.

"Great party, huh?" Poe asked, taking a sip.

"Super," Finn muttered.

"You okay?" Poe asked, leaning in a little- Finn convinced himself it was because of the loud music.

"Yeah, just a little tired," Finn sighed, "Shouldn't you be getting back to your boyfriend?" He really shouldn't have said that, especially not with that biting tone. He didn't own Poe; _he didn't even know Poe!_ What the hell?!

Poe blinked his big brown eyes, then laughed. It was a full body laugh, and his hair flipped out of his face for a second. Finn thought he was the most beautiful human to ever human.

"Ben?! Shit no, buddy. He's not my boyfriend."

"Really? Cause it seemed like you two were getting a little friendly back there, on the couch."

Poe smirked, shrugging. "Yeah... I like his look, y'know? Gets me kinda hot making out with Ben sometimes, but we don't want anything to do with each other outside of that."

"Friends with benefits?" Finn asked slowly.

"Something like that," Poe chuckled, "Just... I don't even know what we are. He's kind of hot, he thinks I'm hot, but he hasn't come out to his parents yet. It would never work. But... for heat of the moment stuff, I like to be manhandled by bad boys."

He flashed a wicked grin, and damn if Finn didn't get a little hard from that statement. He gulped, and suddenly, before thinking, blurted:

"I can be your bad boy!"

Poe's eyebrows shot up, and Finn closed his mouth, wishing the ground would swallow him up. After a second, Poe looked down, and kicked the ground a little.

"Finn... you're a great guy-"

Finn sighed. _Story of his life, waiting for the "but"._

"But you're way out of my league."

Finn's eyes snapped open, and his jaw dropped.

"Wait... what?!"

Poe shook his head. "You're... sexy, smart, funny...  too good to be true, man."

Finn shook his head, thinking he was dreaming. "N-no! No way! You're Poe Dameron! Captain of the baseball team! Sexiest freaking man alive! You've got the school's greatest as- uh... yeah."

Poe blushed, hiding behind his cup as he took another sip. "Well then... all preconceived notions of each other put aside, let's be great friends, and we'll see from there. I may seem like a total slut, but I _am_ capable of intimacy first."

Finn nodded slowly, then grinned. "Yeah... yeah, good idea!"

Poe grinned as well, and slung an arm around his shoulder. "Good- where's your friend?"

"Rey's out there... careful, she's high off her ass, and she'll probably say something brutally, embarrassingly honest."

"My best friend Snap's like that. That's why I don't tell him about the parties I go to anymore."

They walked out, and Poe searched the place for Ben. He wasn't on the couch anymore.

"If you're looking for your emo boy-toy," Rey mentioned from her spot, "he followed Hux out, said he needed a vape like mad." Poe nodded as they joined her, and Rey suddenly gasped. "Oh, but look at you two! Five minutes in the kitchen, and you've already deflowered each other, hm? That was fast."

"No," Finn said quickly, "We're friends."

"Oh," Rey shrugged, "Okay. Wanna get wasted, like good friends do?"

Poe laughed, plopping down beside her. "Why haven't I talked to you before now?"

"Because you're an asshole," she hiccuped, and all three reached for drinks.

-0-0-0-

Two hours later and far into the night, the party was still roaring, and Finn, Rey, and Poe were tipsy. The beat surrounded everyone as female head of the gaming club Billie Connex and Nick "Nines" Masters began dancing together to the music; an unlikely couple, seeing as Nines was known as one of the meanest guys in school and Connex was a bubbly ray of sunshine. But hey... anything can happen when it's one in the morning and there's enough alcohol and THC in people's veins.

"Damn... there are no good vines out this year, you know?" Finn slurred, scrolling through his social media feed. Poe hummed.

"What about, uh... that guy- that... WHAT ARE THOOO-"

"Shut your mouth or I will squirt lemons in your eyes and take tweezers to your pubic hair," Rey snapped, and both guys turned to look at her. She seethed. "I hate that fucking vine."

Finn chuckled. "It's true. She does."

"Yeah," Poe sighed, "It's strange what people find funny." Rey suddenly retched, and both of them turned to her again, reaching for her.

"You okay?"

"You need help to the bathroom?" She looked between them.

"What are you, my knights in shining armor? No, I was just looking at those horrid shoes," she giggled, covering her mouth as she stared down at Poe's sneakers. They were orange and white. "I mean, who wears orange vans?"

"Excuse you," Poe said, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense, "These are my BB-8s! They're a new model."

Rey laughed, and Finn turned his phone camera on.

"Get up," he grinned at Poe, and Poe blinked blearily.

"What?"

"Get up, dance."

"I'm a terrible dancer."

"I'm sure that's not true," Finn replied, and Poe smirked, putting up his hands and getting up. Finn pressed the button, and started recording. Poe clapped his hands to the beat, swinging his hips, and Rey whistled. Finn dragged the camera all the way up Poe's body and down again to his *stylish* shoes, hollering, " _Damn_ , Dameron!" in a particularly appreciative voice, and Poe winked at the camera. Finn chuckled, and hit stop, saving the video.

Poe sat back down, and whispered, "That for jerking off later, buddy?"

"You wish," Finn slurred, but was blushing like mad.

He decided to crash at Rey's that night, and Poe said he could just take a taxi home. Rey offered to pay his cab fare, since it was her party and it was sort of her idea to get that drunk, but Poe had none of it. He was really a great guy.

"Sooo... you've got it bad," Rey smiled, resting her head on Finn's shoulder with a yawn as they watched the last of the people file out of the house gradually.

Finn bit his lip. "Is it that obvious?"

Rey gave him a look, then went and passed out on the carpet as Finn watched the video he had taken of Poe on repeat.

-0-0-0-

"Ughh... why, why, why?" Rey repeated, banging her head against Finn's locker. Finn rubbed his head, not moving to remove the sunglasses he had on to help with the light. Everything was just too bright today...

"I don't know," Finn moaned back, feeling his stomach churn. Of course she had to have that party on a _Thursday,_ and they had school the next day.

"Why didn't we stay home today?" Rey groaned, looking out at the rest of the exhausted looking school population. 

"Because I have a bio test," Finn reminded her, yawning.

"Good fucking luck with that," Rey scoffed, "and I have a gym physical performance beep test, although hungover or not, there's no point in anyone trying. Everyone, including the teacher, knows Phasma's going to leave everyone in the dust, anyway."

"She's scary," Finn shuddered, thinking of the tall girl with cropped platinum hair.

"Terrifying," Rey agreed, and the two walked off down the hall to the caf. The smell of weird barely-edibles and rubbery muffins wafted toward them as they approached the food, grabbing grey trays. Rey cleared her throat when she got up to the seriously overweight lunch guy, Unkar.

"I'll have a full plate of spaghetti," she sighed, rubbing her temples, and Unkar grumbled something under his breath before plopping the pile on her plate.

"One quarter portion."

Rey balked at this, dropping her tray with a defiant clatter. "Yesterday it was a half portion each!"

"I can't do anything about the damn budget cuts," Unkar snapped, and motioned for her to move along. Rey growled, and jerked her tray to the left, grabbing a gross cranberry muffin and finding their table. Finn politely thanked the lunch man for his own pile of slop, and ran after her.

When the two sat down, Poe looked over from a table by the window, surrounded by his group-- Jess, Snap, and Connex. He said something to them, and lumbered over to join his new friends.

"Jesus," he muttered under his breath, flopping down beside them, "I feel like shit."

"Join the club," Finn murmured, and just as all three were dozing off at the table, Poe felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Um... sorry to bother you," a freshman with combed back black hair said, "but... are you the guy? From that vine?"

"What?" Poe asked blearily. He had no idea who this kid was... Mitaka, was his last name... _maybe?_

"Um, the Damn, Dameron vine?" he clarified as if it should be obvious, and Poe immediately turned to Finn.

"Did you post that?" He didn't sound anxious or mad in any way; more so amused.

"Yeah," Finn smiled, "I thought it was kinda funny."

"It was!" Mitaka assured, "It was great. You know it's been shared over one thousand times, right?"

Finn's eyes widened, and even Rey seemed a little surprised by this.

"Why?" Poe asked incredulously, "I was just being an idiot for six seconds."

Mitaka shrugged. "Anyway, cool to meet you. Um... bye!"

They watched the younger teen skip back to their table where Hux and Phasma were sitting in the dark corner, brooding over their phones. A moment later, a group of stoners walked by, looking over and noticing Poe's face, proceeding to whisper and grin. A group of cheerleader girls walked by as well, and they giggled flirtatiously as they walked by.

Poe frowned, and turned back in. "Finn, it looks like I'm gonna need to borrow those sunglasses- I'm becoming a celebrity around here," he joked, and Finn huffed.

"Not a chance. I take these off, I'll go blind from the horrible sunlight, if I haven't already started to." 

"You're so dramatic," Rey moaned.

"Oh, coming from she who said this morning, and I quote, " _I feel like I am being eaten alive by a rabid wildebeast, while being forced to watch my own intestines getting severed with a blunt butter knife."_

Poe raised an eyebrow at Rey, and she laughed a little, rubbing her neck.

Later that day, Finn got the idea to do another one. Well... if people liked the first one so much, why not make a fun, stupid little sequel? As the trio walked across the lawn of their school, Finn positioned his phone to film Poe walking beside him. He laughed, and started it.

"Daaaamn, Dameron!" he called, and Poe turned, flashing a grin. Finn looked down at his ugly shoes, and an idea popped into his head. "Back at it again with the orange vans!"

Poe laughed, doing a moonwalk on the spot that Finn filmed, then the video ended. Rey rolled her eyes. 

"You guys are insufferable."

-0-0-0-

10,000 views. This was insane.

"I don't believe you," Rey sputtered over the phone, and Finn scoffed.

"I'll send you the link to check the analytics! It's all right here..."

When she got it, she made a little noise. "Why do so many people like this so much?"

"People find the strangest things funny," Finn quoted Poe, and thought about their friendship. He couldn't be more grateful to Rey for throwing that party and initiating their friendship. It was all so awesome.

Now, they were in the last period of the day... finally. Their theology teacher, Mr. Plagueis, came past them, writing something on the chalk board.

"Captivating tape you young ones came up with," the scary bald man told them with a pause beside their desks. "Or... not a tape... what do you call it? A branch?"

"Vine, Mr. Plagueis," Poe chuckled.

"Yes, that," the teacher said, and scuttled off to get himself a chocolate cookie from his desk.

"Even the teachers have seen it?" Rey marveled, "What the hell's going on?"

"It'll disappear by tomorrow- in a day, nobody'll care anymore," Finn laughed, waving it off. Just then, they heard an errant "DAMN, DAMERON!" behind them and Poe chuckled to himself.

"Yeah... sure it will." 

-0-0-0-

The next morning when they got to school, things had blown up. Like, a lot.

Poe wouldn't be greeted by anyone without the preface of "Damn!", and the infamous line and title of the vines was being thrown around the hallways.

"Alright... we officially need to make another one," Rey grinned.

"What?" Poe asked.

"Give the people what they want," she added with a wink. Poe rolled his eyes, and Finn got out his camera.

"Damn, Dameron!" he shouted, walking around his body for a 360 degree shot, "Damn!"

Poe shot double barrel fingers at the camera, and Finn ended it, uploading it immediately. This installment of the weird series was certainly no less popular- the views climbed instantaneously mere minutes after being posted.

Next day.

Nothing was too different; people were still shouting it, and Poe was getting bashful about it all. Yeah, he liked attention... but he was basically a celebrity now. Finn filmed one more of Poe out on the courts, jumping around and doing a running jump. "Damn, Dameron!" he cried, "Back at it again with the orange vans!!" They both burst into laughter near the end, and uploaded it. Within seconds, they were getting comments flood in from international viewers who didn't even know them like, "Haha these r funny guys" and "best vine everrr tho" and "Can this Dameron guy just marry me now plz??" with little diamond ring emojis. 

Luke came home amidst the anarchy, and they promptly filled him in on their internet success. He seemed very proud and excited for them, despite the fact that he probably had no idea what they were talking about, or even what the internet was.

Three days later, the craziest thing happened- they got a call from Ellen. Yeah; Ellen from The Ellen DeGeneres Show. "Hi there. Are you the Poe Dameron from the internet vine?" a deep, official sounding voice asked, and Finn gulped.

"No, but I'm the one who catcalls him." 

A day later, the three of them were being flown to Hollywood to appear on the talk show; Poe and Finn were used to flying, so they had the opportunity to focus on their unbreakable excitement, but Rey was gushing over the tiniest things, as she had never flown before- and it was really cute.

"Oh my god, they give you _biscuits_?! For free?!!"

"Oh my _god_ , there was a tray in front of me all along?!"

"No way- _air conditioning_ above us too?"

"How fast does this plane go? I wonder if I can visit the pilot..."

Poe interjected on this one. "Doubt it. That's my dream job, so don't do anything to soil my reputation in the industry."

Rey snorted. "Your reputation has far superseded soiling after these horrendous vines have been shared with the world."

The three of them chuckled, and a couple of hours later, they reached their destination. On the set of couches, Finn could do nothing but marvel at the fact that they were sitting on a talk show with a bunch of strangers staring at them (and even more watching at home), all because of a stupid drunken night at a house party; he relayed this shock when the question of inspiration was asked of him.

"Well, we were at Rey's place, and it was late-" Finn began, and Ellen grinned, turning to the girl.

"Ah, so this is all your fault."

Rey laughed, white teeth showing as she shook her head. "No, really, it was these two nerf-herders."

"Ooh. Nerf-herders... harsh; well, what happened then, Finn?" Ellen encouraged, and Finn recalled how it had gone next.

"Yeah, so... the next morning, we realized it had a few more views than we expected, but we didn't start thinking much of it until people started coming up to us and saying the line."

"People said Damn, Dameron to you?" Ellen laughed, "Random people?"

"At first, random people at school, then on the streets too," Poe nodded, "My other friends, who aren't here today- Snap, Connex, and Jess- they got super annoyed," he laughed, "I'm sure they still are. Hi guys!"

"Well, let's... let's roll the videos and see what this is all about, shall we?" Ellen said, nodding to a screen behind them.

The familiar shouts of _Damn, Dameron!_ graced the ears of the teenagers, and they smirked as people applauded the debauchery playing out on screen from the pixel-y grain of a portrait style Iphone camera.

"So... why do you think people love it so much?" Ellen asked, turning back when it was over, "I mean, other than Mr. Dameron's obvious _stunning_  shoes."

The audience laughed, and Poe went red. Finn snaked his hand into his friend's behind them so no one could see, and Poe turned to him with a smile.

"Well..." Poe inhaled, "To make it even better than it already is, we'd have to add Finn here to the videos." 

The audience _awwwed_ , and Poe quickly broke away from Finn's gaze, adding, "But if you want to kick it up to a thousand, we've gotta make Rey our new front man! Damn, Rey!"

"Back at it again with the... unruly triple buns!" Ellen supplied. Rey wiggled her eyebrows, running a hand through her hair suggestively, and the audience laughed again.

"I'd say all of you have the star power to pull it off," the host joked, then turned to where Finn and Poe were still holding hands.

"So, I've gotta ask the big question that the internet seems to be dying to know... are you two involved? Because nobody booty-calls someone like that and doesn't, you know, want some."

More laughter from the audience as the three shift in their seats.

"As in... dating?" Finn asked dumbly, "Uh-hum, n-"

"Yeah, we are actually," Poe cut in, and as Finn stuttered for words, the shorter guy leaned in and planted a kiss on Finn's cheek. Finn turned at the last minute before the possibility of a second kiss, and their lips met.

"FINALLY!" Rey shouted, and Ellen high fived her.

"I know the feeling, honey," Ellen said, and Ellen made a cutting motion to the cameras with a smile.

The week after, it wasn't just the vines people were asking them about at school. It was their relationship, and how crazy it was how they came out as a couple together on live television... that intensely. Even Ben gave them a grumbled congratulations, but there were no legitimately hard feelings; apparently, he had started dating Hux, and had latched on quite fast. He even came out to his parents... not that Han cared in the slightest, but Leia was disgustingly supportive. 

Finn couldn't believe he had gotten his wish of both the perfect boyfriend and some actual recognition in the span of two weeks... he also received a large sum of money for appearing on the show, which would help a great deal toward college. Rey got a skateboard that said their line on it, much to her excitement, and Poe got a lifetime supply of vans. In the end, he ended up giving that voucher away to Snap- he was happy with retouching his good old orange and white BB-8s.

As for Rey's aftermath? She started getting so many public date invitations over her twitter that she had to create a new, secret account. It was hilarious watching Luke rant about the safety of his daughter, and " _stabbing them through the middle if they wanna date my girl, see if they pass that test, the pervy, middle aged stalkers!"_

 _Damn, Dameron_ became the most played, most shared, and most popular vine of 2016, and would go down in internet (mostly tumblr, if honesty's at play) history.

And, evidently- so would Poe and Finn's relationship: #finnpoe. 

"You didn't even know me two weeks ago," Finn murmured against Poe's lips, the two necking on the stairs in front of the school. 

"I guess orange vans can do a lot for a guy, then," Poe winked, and kissed his (maybe not so bad-boy) boyfriend. 


End file.
